Saturday night. Only one of ’em a week. So then how does a girl choose how to spend it, when the temptation is between two food events across the city – Guerrilla Eats and a FoodFight, both starting and finishing at the same time… Time travel? Roller skates? Coin flips? Coin flippage I had to go with, as I can in no way be likened to a version of Dr. Who with perfect roller balance (if only). The Coin God spoke – I was to go to The Great Northern Warehouse, I was to plumb the delicious depths and satiate my greedy appetite wholeheartedly. Challenge accepted, oh God of Flippage.
All of my adventures to seek out food seem to start with me exploring for a while the surrounding area (wandering around, hopelessly lost) and this was no exception. As always, I was not deterred. Nothing could stand in my way -not even Google bloody Maps.
Up some steps we went and, instantly confronted by cartoon food, this was surely the right place. I particularly like that carrot on the left…
The aim of the game with the Food Fight is that you swap your money for tokens and pay with those – hit midnight, whichever street food stand that has the most tokens, wins. It’s great. It is great.
First up we chose Cameroon Curried Goat – I can never resist – from Nkono with a dab of homemade hot chilli sauce. I mean, they did underline hot on their menu… This stuff did precisely what it said on the tin (/misleadingly adorable and innocent glass jar). I was coming down with a cold before I arrived at the Food Fight, and I hold Nkono at least partly responsible for the swift clearing of my sinuses. Amazing. While I think I would have liked another spoonful of the rich sauce to cover my rice, the goat itself absolutely fell from the bone – I didn’t even need to prod it with a fork, the magic happened before my eyes. Wish I’d bought some of that hot sauce though…
After Nkono we traveled further in to the depths of the food hall and clicking our tokens between our fingers, we sized up the competition. Unfortunately for any one else’s chances, I spied Yakumama and their Latin America inspired selection – when enticed inwards with phrases like, ‘free range chorizo, chimichurri, organic guacamole, pickled onion, Barbakan bread’, I really have no control. I get tunnel vision. I cannot be blamed for my actions. Ten minutes wait, you say? More than fine, 100% not-a-problem – I’m happy to stand here and salivate over what’s on your grill. Without a doubt worth it.
Everything was beautiful. The strong chorizo sausage matched perfectly with the flavour of all of the other extras; the chunky guacamole, the sweet, sharp pickled onion slices, even the bread was something to write home about. I actually sat and had a think about life and how great it was at one point. That good.
Stalking ’round again for a last savoury bite, I found myself looking at Yakumama’s offerings once more. I warned you, the tunnel vision happened. Before I knew it I was buying ‘Ginger beer and pineapple pulled pork tacos: Yakumama spiced free range pork, Mexican slaw, pineapple sweet chili, lime sour cream, coriander salsa, crackling’. Think you could have resisted?
I can’t even describe these properly without getting ridiculously hyperbolic. I just can’t. All I can say, in all honesty, is that each mouthful made me want to dance around, made me want to — can I just say, ‘lalalallaaalalaa’ and leave it at that? Or say, bestthingIthinkI’veeverputinmymouth? The lovely man who cooked up this taco of pure happiness even gave us extra crackling (maybe because I was eyeing it all up. Me? Crackling? Share? Pah.). Just, the, GREATEST. I will now leave it there; I nearly cried.
I was enormously full by this point but I was persuaded to finish with some of Penelope’s ice cream. Opting for the Apple Crumble (with extra chunks) and Triple Chocolate flavours to share, we were not disappointed. I think the Tooth Fairy must have nicked my sweet tooth at some point in my life but I very willingly helped polish off these goodies.
Before leaving, I ran over to Yakumama to say thank you for the most amazing feed I’ve had in ages. I realise how bonkers I must of looked (I was wearing a squirrel hat*), near enough leaping over the counter… I imagine I had tears of joy in my eyes as well. Sorry if I alarmed you, Yakumama.
Without a doubt be heading to more Food Fights. Hurray!
Yours,
Joss
*I was told by a rather sloshed man that my hat was not squirrel-worthy. More like a squashed fox. Oh. I was so proud of it.
topnotchfodder 
If you’re going to write about food and interest anybody you maybe need to write about the food and not fill up your blog with word spam. There are about twenty words here for every bit of (dull) information. It’s all about your own twee little ‘humorous’ observations that sound like they come from a high school student. Kinda wasted my time really.
Thank you for your comments James!
Unfortunately, I won’t be adhering to your ‘pleasant’ constructive criticism because this is my blog and it reflects me. I am excitable, overly enthusiastic and known to babble on. In fact, I’d say this blog is a deeply toned-down version of myself… Lucky for you, we’ll never have to meet, eh?
However, I can send you in the direction of some more objective writing if you’d like? Then my little ‘twee’, fanciful and wholly subjective observations can’t irritate you quite so much.
So sorry for wasting you time but – honestly – it’s not like anyone forced you to read to the end. I bet you liked it really.
You coy thing, you.